The Imperialist Cookbook

Kipling's Recipe for Power

WARNING! THIS RECIPE MAY CONTAIN IMPERIALIST IDEALS AND/OR MAY CONTAIN INGREDIENTS THAT ARE LIKELY TO HAVE COME INTO CONTACT WITH IMPERIALISM. DO NOT CONSUME IF YOU ARE ALLERGIC TO IMPERIALIST THOUGHT, AS A SEVERE REACTION IS LIKELY TO OCCUR.

Ingredients:

• 1 fresh man-cub
• 1 pack Seeonee wolves
• 1 devilish jackal
• 10-foot lame tiger, to garnish
• 1 brown bear, heavily seasoned
• 1 black panther, bred in captivity
• Approx. 1,500 lbs. Bandar-Log brand raw, imitation man
• 1 snake, artificially sweet
• 1 pot all-purpose Red Flower
• 1 village of Indians
• 1 herd buffalo
• 2 gallons pride
• 1 dash destiny

DO NOT ATTEMPT TO SUBSTITUTE ANY OF THESE INGREDIENTS.

Directions:

In a mysterious jungle where all of these ingredients can inexplicably be found, mix fresh man-cub with 2 Seeonee wolves and cubs in cave.

Add a few drops of pride, and continue gradually adding pride throughout the course of preparation. Pride is a key ingredient to this recipe. Most man-cubs are born with pride in their meat, but it is good practice to continue adding small amounts as they get older. Be careful not to add too much at once. If you do, your man-cub's head will swell bigger than a watermelon, and your dish will be ruined. Add enough so that the man-cub stares down other animals for fun to frighten them.

Mix in jackal and lame tiger, making sure that your tiger and your man-cub are kept a safe distance away from each other so that your tiger does not devour your man-cub before he has had a chance to ripen. Add a dash of destiny in the constant reminders to the man-cub that "the time will come when thou [the man-cub] will hunt Shere Khan [the tiger]" (9).

Stir in the remainder of the pack of Seeonee and slowly divide them. Some of your wolves should drift towards your tiger while most remain together. Over the course of preparation, plan for more of your wolves to side with your tiger.

Meanwhile, season man-cub with knowledge, particularly the laws and languages of the jungle, extracted from bear and panther. Beat man-cub with bear until dizzy if he does not learn quickly enough.

Pour Bandar-log brand imitation man over the man cub. Let the man-cub stew in the foolishness of the Bandar-log brand imitation man so that he knows what not to become. Mix in snake to get rid of the stench of Bandar-log and to recover your man-cub.

Don't forget to keep adding drops of pride. If your man-cub is unafraid to meet the gaze of your snake, when your bear and panther are hypnotized by it, you have added just the right amount. Tenderize bear and panther as they marinate in the presence of the man-cub.

By now, your wolves should be divided so that nearly half side with your tiger. Turn wolves in on each other, discarding the leader. Add your man-cub mixed with a pot of all-purpose Red Flower to the next gathering of the wolves. Make wolves promise not to kill their leader. Remove man-cub from jungle, and place in separate bowl with Indian village.

Try mixing your man-cub with Indian villagers. If the effect is similar to attempting to mix oil and water, you are doing well so far.

Put man-cub in charge of herding buffalo. Around this time, your tiger should be done stewing. With advice extracted from your jackal, he should be plotting to hunt your man-cub. Add an extra drop of pride, and this shouldn't be a problem for the man-cub.

Put your man-cub on top of the largest buffalo. He should rise to power. If everything has been prepared correctly until this point, he will order the wolves to divide the buffalo for him. The buffalo will move in the direction of your lame tiger, battering him in stampede and making your tiger's death nothing more than his buffalo "stumbling" over "something soft" (41). Have your man-cub skin the lame tiger.

The men from the village should accuse him of sorcery and shun him, if the recipe has been followed properly. This should not effect the man-cub a great deal, if you have consistently remembered to carefully mixing in pride.

Have your man-cub restore order to the Seeonee wolves.

Once your man-cub has fully risen, your dish is done.

Prep time: The man-cub's childhood-adolescent years

Difficulty: As easy as skinning a ten-foot tiger by yourself

Serves: The majority of the animals in the jungle and the neighboring village of humans are served by Mowgli's power, as all of them were burdened by Shere Khan the lame tiger's existence, but above all, this recipe for power serves Mowgli the man-cub. After a challenging life of rejection by the wolves who raise him and the humans whose blood he shares, Mowgli stays strong and is able to assert dominance over the animals of the jungle and uses that dominance to fulfill his destiny as the hunter of Shere Khan. Within the stories of The Jungle Books that focus on Mowgli the man-cub (specifically "Mowgli's Brothers," "Kaa's Hunting," and "'Tiger-Tiger!'"), the most poignant moral that Rudyard Kipling presents is the notion that power (meaning control over other beings) is the driving force in the life of man, and for men who persevere proudly, obtaining power is an inevitability.