The Case of the (Not Really) Missing Elements of Detective Fiction!

Before we begin our banquet, I would like to say a few words. And here they are: Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!
Albus Dumbledore

The rain splattered the streets of Pensacola, Florida as the brothers, El and Ery made their silent journey to their destination. The house wasn’t hard to find; it was the only one with lighted windows and a smoking chimney at 2 o’clock in the morning. After only two knocks on the door, the brothers were allowed inside.
“I knew you would come eventually,” the owner of the house resumed his seat nearest the fire. He was puffing on a pipe that emitted bubbles, rather than smoke. El and Ery exchanged glances before seating themselves on the velvet sofa.
“Oh, yes I knew you would come,” Sir Sleuthsalot puffed on his faux pipe thoughtfully. “I have read about your missing elements, and I shall take on the case myself! This is why you have sought me at this hour, is it not?”
“Right on all accounts!” El was relieved that they could skip the introduction of the case. Naturally, the press had been all over them for the story, so there wasn’t much to say. “I daresay you have a lead then?”
“Why, I have three leads!” Sir Sleuthsalot stood up dramatically.
“Thank you, detective!” The brothers asked simultaneously.
“I know where our first crime scene is located, let us not waste time!” Sleuthsalot grabbed his coat and beckoned the brothers to follow.
The detective led them to a very dark and partially flooded alleyway. There was a single door at the end of this dark, tunnel-like path, and it was locked.
“Never fear, my friends!” Sleuthsalot rummaged in his pocket and produced a key. “The original crime that took place here has long been forgotten; however, some clues are never too old to be analyzed.” He jammed the rusty key into the rustier lock, and with miraculous luck, the door opened.
After fiddling with the lights, Sleuthsalot revealed that they were standing in the laboratory of the dreaded Dr. Heckle. The brothers remembered hearing tales of the horrible monstrosity Dr. Heckle created that resulted in the murders of many victims and eventually the doctor himself. The brothers watched as Sleuthsalot prowled around the room, searching for something that they obviously did not see.
“Yes, it is just as I expected,” Sleuthsalot chuckled as he straightened up. “Can you, my dear friends, see what is wrong about this scene?”
The brothers looked around with slight creases between their eyebrows. Sure, they could spot the mysterious liquids glinting poisonously in their crystal vials, and they saw the broken glass and smashed tables, but they knew these were not what Sir Sleuthsalot was interested in.
“Give up?” Sleuthsalot asked, still chuckling. “It is because the thing I was looking for isn’t here. There was never a detective on the case for the mysteries of Dr. Heckle! There is one of your missing elements, and you’re very welcome.” He stared smugly at the brothers.
“Well, all right,” the brothers figured that made some sense. “Now, what about the other--”
“We’re already on our way!” Sleuthsalot was halfway out the door before the brothers caught up.
The next crime scene was a secluded house on Paris Ave. Sleuthsalot magically had the key to this building, as well, and the trio was now standing in a very plush and dimly-lit study.
“This, El and Ery, is the study of the famous detective DuPoboy.” Sleuthsalot waited for the brothers to look impressed. Instead, they merely grimaced. “What seems to be the problem?”
“Oh, we’ve read the stories of DuPoboy.” Ery explained.
“But we were never huge fans of his boring explanations on how he solved his crimes.” El admitted, shrugging.
“Ah, but there lies one of your other elements!” Sleuthsalot wagged his finger at the brothers. “DuPoboy’s explanations monopolized his stories. He was also the one doing the detecting, which made him the protagonist of his tale. Don’t you agree?”
“Well, I suppose so—.”
“Then we move on to crime scene number three!” Sleuthsalot paused before he reached the door this time. “However, I appear to be missing an important part for my detective story that is introduced by the DuPoboy tales. I must have a narrator!”
The brothers stared at each other. Neither knew what to tell Sir Sleuthsalot. They both felt that a disembodied narrator was doing just swimmingly.
“Do you feel a narrator is extremely crucial for detective fiction, Sir Sleuthsalot?” El asked the detective.
“No, no,” Sleuthsalot waved his hand impatiently. “The narrator just makes things interesting and keeps the detective company. He is, however, rather handy, and I would like to have one.”
“I don’t mind narrating your sleuthing.” Ery boldly offered himself up for the position.
“Nonsense, neither of you is allowed to narrate!” Sleuthsalot waved his hand impatiently. “I need someone not involved in the crime!” He stepped into the street and grabbed the first man he could find. “Sir, what’s your name?”
“Name’s Greg,” a gruff man who appeared to be homeless answered. “Whatchoo want?”
“I need a narrator to be my companion and to record the multiple cases I shall solve!” Sleuthsalot declared dramatically.
“So, I can live with yas, then?”
“Of course.”
“OK, I’m in.” Greg took over for narrating.
-
The next place this fancy guy with the bubble pipe took us was some house in the middle of town. I tried casing this place once in my day, but I only ended up tackling wax busts of what appeared to be a dude. Man, try latching on to that in the middle of the night. I never walked near this house again—
“Greg, if you want a hot meal and a place to stay, you have to narrate correctly!”
Right, so, now that I have to be a fancy man, I gotta talk real smooth.
Anyway, Sleuthsalot led us into the house and into another study. This one seemed much more interesting than the other house. There were crazy inventions, newspaper clippings, and various instruments strewn across the floor and onto cluttered desks. It seemed a much more lively man studied here than in the other house.
“And this,” Sleuthsalot paused for dramatic effect. “Is the legendary study of E. Teephone Homes, the greatest detective to date!” Now, this time, I saw the faces of El and Ery light up.
“Yes, we were hoping you’d bring us here!” El exclaimed happily as he watched Sleuthsalot begin searching the study. “Mr. Homes has quite the reputation of being a great detective!”
“As he rightly should!” Sleuthsalot sat in the armchair closest to the fire and closed his eyes. It was as if the spirit of E. Teephone Homes was residing in the armchair itself.
I sure hope not, because I don’t mess with no ghosts!
“He has the qualities of DuPoboy, yet he is much more personable and active in solving his crimes. His narrator, Watson is rather charming, too. I must apply for one of these!”
This is the part where I turned angrily from Sleuthsalot and strode for the door. My cardboard box by the beach was sounding better by the minute.
“Oh, Greg, come back!” Sleuthsalot called for him. “I shall enroll you in medical school, and all will be well! You will see!”
I returned to the study to find Sleuthsalot now standing up and the two brothers sitting down.
“So, you see, here are your three elements.” Sleuthsalot held out three fingers and brought one down with each element. “The first one is the detective himself who solves the crime. The crime does not have to have a motive, but it must be a case to crack! The second is the detective being the protagonist of his tale, as DuPoboy exhibited. The third, which rounds out the perfect detective that is E. Teephone Homes, is the use of empirical study and deductive reasoning to solve a crime. Since I am a well-known detective myself, I knew what the three missing elements were from the beginning. I have exhibited the third element perfectly by attending each crime scene and physically looking for clues (or lack thereof) in order to fit them into the big picture. My actions exhibit deductive reasoning and have also solved your crime.”
I turned from Sleuthsalot’s beaming face to El and Ery’s confused ones. They appeared to not be satisfied with my new roommate’s conclusion.
“But, Sir Sleuthsalot,” El began quietly. “We know what the three elements are. We, afterall, came up with them.”
“Oh, well, I knew them already so I did not feel the need to ask you—.”
“But you did not get the third one.” Ery cut Sleuthsalot off. “The detective who detects and the detective being the protagonist are, indeed, the first two elements. The third, however, is the detective triumphing over a criminal of some sort. We came to you, not really to find the three elements separately but to find all three of them together within one detective story.”
At the mention of triumphing over a criminal, I attempted to edge over to the exit. You see, I had some hot watches in the inside pocket of my coat, and I’d rather hang onto them for the time being—
“Get back in here, Greg!” Sleuthsalot snapped. “I must apologize, my dear friends, but I declare your case unsolvable. For you see, I have my own theory as to why your elements never appear to be in the same story at once. All of the elements of detective fiction rely in the act of detection itself. Sure the characters, crimes, and motives might be a little tweaked here and there, but that’s what makes detective novels so interesting. We, as readers, merely need a vehicle through which we can solve the crime or puzzle presented to us.” He fastened the buttons of his coat and took out his bubble pipe. “I hope this act of detection has brought you the answers you need. Come, Greg, we’re off to medical school!”
I happily followed my new partner into the dark and stormy night.



I wrote my story to express how silly the Ellery brothers’ 3 qualities of detective fiction are. According to their list, none of the stories we’ve read are 100% detective fiction, yet they are all undoubtedly forefathers of the detective genre. I started the story with a crime scene similar to Jekyll’s laboratory to show that the crime itself is what initially begins the detecting that takes place in a detective novel. The first two elements are obviously necessary for a true detective novel. Without the detective as the protagonist, the reader would lose sight of actually solving the crime. The greatest detectives, Dupin and Holmes, are both intriguing characters who walk the line between hero and villain. These types of characters intrigue the reader to continue solving the crime with the detective. I had my detective progress through the stories in the order read in class, not only for sequential purposes, but also to show the evolution of the detective novel. From the introduction of the crime and the criminal, (Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde) to the well-developed detective of Victorian England (Sherlock Holmes,) the detective genre has evolved and adapted to the readership of Victorian England. I think my story would be appropriate for Victorian England (minus some of the places and names) because it falls into place with the mainstream detective novels while vouching for the actual detection that initially draws in the reader. It also shows that while the Ellery brothers’ 3 qualities are often good additions to detective novels, they do not (and often are not) simultaneously in a story. I also added the epigraph, because most detective novels have one, and Dumbledore’s words at the beginning of Harry Potter’s first term at Hogwarts have always been a few of my favorites.